Many people wonder what HIDEOUS SECRET she is hiding and why she can't mix in a dress or a skirt once in a while.
Once again, Heard Over The Wire has SCOOPED the news industry, and by our tireless efforts have uncovered the horrible secret.
We present here on our pages the picture that Hillary For President tried in vain to keep you from seeing, the LAST TIME THAT SHE WORE A DRESS ! Get ready for a shock. Clear the kiddies from the room. Are you READY ?
The horrible secret is her HIDEOUS MONKEY LEGS ! The world's finest doctors have tried and failed to change them. Plastic surgery has failed to repair them. (Even the Doctors that successfully dealt with her "eyebrow problem"). Leg transplants were considered, then rejected because of the rare mixture of primate DNAs in her body. Even amputation and prosthetic installations were considered but it was feared that she would be tripped up going through the metal detectors at airports. So in the end, it was decided that the ONLY SOLUTION was to be condenmed to a life of ...PANTSUITS.
Now you know. Please join me, and pity this POOR CREATURE. It is so sad.